Jeffrey Miller

A Writer's Life

Category: Weird & Absurd (page 1 of 10)

Korean Wax Figures

Korean Wax Museum

These wax figures are a little creepy to say the least.

The ones we can see all look like the same model was used. I’m guessing that’s supposed to be James Dean in the foreground (when I came to Korea in 1990 a fella could buy a brand of underwear named after him) and behind him, that looks like Michael Jackson, though the hat is reminiscent of Inspector Clouseau. Next to him, I’m guessing that’s supposed to be Leonardo di Caprio but I don’t know about the last one. It could either be Elvis or Evel Knievel.

Creepy. Very creepy.

On the other hand, imagine that the two Korean models were wax figures and that the others were real.

Now that would be very creepy.

 

(Photo via Choson Ilbo)

Dennis Rodman in Pyongyang: Basketball Diplomacy

RodmanWell, if ping-pong worked with the Chinese, maybe Dennis Rodman, a.k.a. The Worm, and basketball might have the same effect on the Norks.

Very interesting article in The Diplomat about Rodman’s visit to North Korea that even has Marcus Noland finding something in the visit to get excited about:

“I am all for it,” Dr. Marcus Noland, senior fellow and director of studies at the Peterson Institute for International Economics, told The Diplomat. “No one has anything to lose on this one, so why not? If Kim Jong-un is half the 1990s NBA fan he is cracked up to be, Dennis Rodman could have more impact on US-DPRK relations than say John Kerry. And look better in a dress.”

We’ll have to take that tongue-in-cheek, but all I’ve got to say is what to hell.

Go get ’em Worm!

Dennis Rodman Going to the Boards with North Korea

RodmanWho would have thought Dennis Rodman would be doing a bit of diplomacy in North Korea?

As crazy and absurd as it may sound, that’s what Rodman is going to be doing soon.

At a time when tensions between the two countries (the United States and North Korea) are running high, it’s important to keep lines of communication open, no matter how non-traditional those channels are, AP quoted Shane Smith, the founder of VICE, which is to make the TV series, as saying.

Read the rest of the story here.

Dennis, knock some sense into the Norks.

And the World Keeps on Getting Weirder and Weirder

The new face (and body of weird)

So what is the average day like for a human Barbie like Lukyanova? “In the morning I work on my face and I get a massage, then I spend some time on the Internet,” she tells V magazine. “I meditate and travel in my astral body, and after that I work out at the gym. I go for a walk with my best girlfriend, I get home, and I make dinner for the man I love. Then I spend some more time on the Internet, do some reading and meditating, and go to bed.” Yup, all in a day’s work.

If you need more weird, read the rest of the article here.

Shakespeare was right. Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Sure you can text and walk at the same time

Just as long as it is not in Fort Lee, New Jersey. Otherwise you could be fined.

Avid texters beware: Fort Lee, N.J. police said they will begin issuing $85 jaywalking tickets to pedestrians who are caught texting while walking.

“It’s a big distraction. Pedestrians aren’t watching where they are going and they are not aware,” said Thomas Ripoli, chief of the Fort Lee Police Department.

Ripoli said the borough, which is home to approximately 35,000 residents, has suffered three fatal pedestrian-involved accidents this year. He hopes his crackdown on people who display dangerous behavior while walking will make his town safer, but not everyone is on board with the idea of issuing $85 tickets.

Read the rest of the article here.

This is a really big problem and nuisance in South Korea. I have to constantly move out of the way of people walking and texting. However, it is not the texting that is the real problem. It’s all these folks walking around watching television on their smart phones. They’re the ones who have to watch out for when you are out and about. I’ve seen people walk across busy streets with their phones in front of their faces oblivious to traffic.

You know that line from Repo Man when Miller tells Otto, “the more you drive, the less intelligent you are?”

I think we can tweak it for our times. The more you text, the less intelligent you are.

Yeah, but what does he know about nuclear security?

Jang Keun-suk poses after being appointed promotional ambassador for the 2012 Nuclear Security Summit at the Foreign Ministry in Seoul on Wednesday.

Does Korea really need a “promotional ambassador” for a major international security summit next year; unless of course, thousands of screaming girls are expected to attend.

At the very least, someone could have dressed him up to look like a scientist or a scholar; not like he’s about to break into a song. Or maybe it’s something like, “I’m not a nuclear scientist, but I play one on TV.”

Lost in Translation — at the gym

Sometimes, literal translations get lost in translation: Although “please take off water on your body” sounds a bit strange, I have a pretty good idea it was supposed to mean, please dry your body after getting out of the water.

I’m not so sure about Number four, though:

After awhile you get used to this kind of English usage, but it makes you wonder when there are all these English teachers and other professors using the facilities, why someone can’t ask to have such signage looked at and edited. I understand that a lot has to do with “saving face” as well as being shy asking a foreigner to check one’s English.

Then again, as a former colleague of mine, Peter Moule used to say, when we talked about such things, “I’m surprised that you are surprised.”

Face-Off

I wasn’t sure about this advertisement I saw in the Seoul subway the other week; not really sure what a slice of bread and an American football had to do with a person’s face.

Then of course, there was the blatant misuse of English.

From what I was able to translate, this is an advertisement for plastic surgery (this is a plastic surgery that can make a “small and soft egg shaped face”).

Still can’t figure out what an American football has to do with a person’s face in Korea. American football is not popular here (other than Pittsburgh Stealer Hines Ward who has a Korean mother, not too many folks follow the sport).

Dr. Strangelove in Daejeon

Today, on the subway in Daejeon, I saw a middle-aged Korean woman wearing, hold onto your socks folks, a stylish Dr. Strangelove T-shirt, showing Group Captain Lionel Mandrake (Peter Sellers) on the floor with Brigadier General Jack Ripper (Sterling Hayden) with Screenplay by Stanley Kubrick and Terry Southern written below.

Bizarre.

Sex and the World Cup

That might have been the topic around the water cooler this morning in Korea as folks here talked about Korea’s decisive upset over Greece Saturday night, but it was the subject of an article in the Korea Times.

Is sex correlated with World Cup football? For naysayers, here is an interesting statistic.

On the Saturday night of Korea’s convincing victory over Greece in their opening match of the 2010 South Africa World Cup, convenience stores recorded a jump in condom sales.

It may be thanks largely to the raging hormones of hundreds of thousands of young people braving the rain in rooting for their team outdoors across the nation. Perhaps, it may need two more victories from Korea to see a firm correlation between the two.

GS25, a convenience store subsidiary of GS Group, said Monday that its outlets had sold about 5,000 condoms on Saturday, a five-fold increase from four years ago during the Germany World Cup.

And it gets better if you read the rest of the article here.

Not that it was a slow news day in Seoul by any means (though I wonder why there wasn’t much in the paper about North Korea’s threat to turn Seoul in a sea of flame…again; the last time was 1994).

Instead, we got to chuckle with this:

“When folks are excited, their sympathetic nerves are stimulated. When they relax afterward their parasympathetic nerves are aroused,” said Park Jung-soo, a neurologist at Hanyang University

“The switches are similar to the mechanisms of male ejaculation. Watchers of intriguing sports games feel such switches several times over the course of the games. At the end of the day, they may be susceptible to sexual arousal.”

Obviously Jung-soo hasn’t watched a Cubs’ game.

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