Sometimes it doesn’t take much, usually some sensory delight—maybe a blue sky filled with fluffy white clouds or the smell of freshly mown grass—which makes you wax nostalgic a bit and later, feel a little homesick.
Yeah, sometimes you just really miss being back home. Or maybe, miss somewhere else, another time, or another place.
When the energy and dynamic meter is buried in the red and you everything you do seems intense, feeling homesick or waxing nostalgic might be the farthest thing from your mind. When you’re bouncing around in the back of a van on your way to some off the beaten path Khmer ruins in Laos, you are a million light years away from everything that once defined you.
On the other hand, when you are experiencing some down time between those moments of intensity and living life on the edge (edge of what, I am not sure) as it were, you just might find yourself searching out something from your past in your soul and those memories you have stored for such a purpose. I think it’s more common when you have been living overseas for any length of time to open up that treasure trove of memories from time to time as not to forget who you are and the things that still mean a lot to you.
And then I wonder, could I have been someone that I am not now? Or, am I still becoming what I should have been all along?
What is it that really defines who we are: the person that we could have been or the person we have let ourselves become?
When I am feeling homesick or waxing nostalgic, what is it that I really miss? Do I miss what I do not have now, or what I will never have again? And if that is the case, will I one day miss what I have now when I move onto something else?